Having a Creative Block

I’ve been thinking for a while about what to write for my blog as I wanted it to be something different from other blogs that are out and popular nowadays. You know, something that everyone, whether aspiring creative or not, would find interesting to read. It’s that thing though, the thinking. Thats what does this to me (the creative block). I find I think so much about what to do that I no longer know what to do, and i’m not necessarily talking about just the blog here.

When it comes to creating work recently it’s been driven by uni (since I am still studying) and their modules. For instance, last year I had to create a piece of work for the gallery which reflected the theme of ‘Is Perception Reality?’. I found that I felt a lot of anxiety and pressure since I had been given this task of creating an exhibition piece, and it had a deadline; there’s something about deadlines that I absolutely hate. I find that I’m forced into this creative mindset where I have to create something, and if I don’t do something I don’t get a grade so I kinda have to create something, but it’s not on the path of where my work might sit. I’m not sure if I see my work ending up in the gallery or whether i’m driven more for finding my work published in a magazine- but either way I have to do it. I went crazy for weeks trying to think about the best project I could do and what would look amazing and most importantly, what is me! I end up thinking so much I almost can’t think anymore and I get so stressed about it that I go blank.

I can’t do it anymore.

I can’t think.

I can’t decide.

I’m not motivated.

Something doesn’t feel right.

And i’m not doing anything about it.

Everytime I do end up getting on with it and eventually creating something due to the pressure of the deadline, and majority of the time I find my way of incorporating what I want to do with the theme of the exhibition. For the ‘Is Perception Reality’ exhibition I did last year, I ended up doing a tryptic of 2 friends who may be portrayed as ‘lovers’ but is your perception really the reality of it (yes it’s a little bit of waffle but isn’t that art).

Im now more than a year from where I was there and I’ve come to the same point in my life once more.

I have my finale degree show coming up, and soon, and I feel such a pressure tied in with it that I have to create and present the best work i’ve ever done! I had a really cool idea that I did for my pilot project for semester 1 (which I now wish i left until this semester to do but oh well). But because I made something I liked SO MUCH and actually felt I did really well on and I had the idea early and went with it; I now feel this anxiety that I must do better than what I did, but I can’t think about better. I didn’t want to continue the project because I didn’t think I could continue it without it being exactly the same, I didn’t want to develop it by trying to change it because I liked the way it was- so I felt stuck. I couldn’t even think of just a normal photography shoot idea that I could just try and see how it works for fun.

The pressure of your own judgement seems to have the most effect on people, and I feel that when you’re trying to make a name for yourself, trying to produce work, when you can’t think about anything, for me at least, I almost feel like a fraud; a failure. Who am I, Darcy Voller, attempting to call herself a photographer and she can’t even think of a good shoot idea- what’s up with that!!! In this creative world I need to be producing work constantly, otherwise i’ll get swept under the rug and forgotten about. But there is this battle of the fact that I know I have to produce work, but I can’t.

This blog doesn’t really have an end point of such, a helpful bit of advice I could give you or any exercises to help you get your creative brains working again because honestly, I feel i’ve been in this slump for a while now and I haven’t found anything that helps. It’s always a weird time, the beginning of the year, horrible weather gives people horribles moods (including myself :F ) and there’s something daunting about the start of a new year. As of right now however, almost summer, i’m busy worrying about everything else happening in my life right now, driving tests, exhibitions, work is now very close to being due, responsibilities in work, finding creative work, thinking about money, how do proper adults cope with so much on their plate all at once!!! Hey, there's one thing I can say about it then aha- think about what else you’re doing in life and maybe you’re just too darn stressed with everything. External factors count towards whats whirling round in that big brain of yours.

I think I just need to get going. Start somewhere and who knows what might pick up from there, could end up creating my favourite photograph ever!

Anyone else want to get up with me?