I was so underprepared leaving university…
This statement came up when I went to go visit a university friend last week.
Coming out of university, my summer was spent enjoying myself after the weirdest 3 years of education i’ve ever had. I went on holidays to explore, saw old and new friends, took lots more photos and relaxed because, in all honesty, I thought I could. I had the most amazing time, and I knew come September that I would have to start figuring my life out, trying to get a job and making my way in the industry. One thing I did not anticipate was the silence.
Come September there were many changes and I had to adapt to them, something I am NOT good at. But with change comes opportunities, and it took me a few weeks and a good few cries but I’ve got to a place where i’m understanding that. But it still did take me a few weeks; close enough to a month pretty much, and i dont believe im still entirely there.
When I met up with this university friend, we were catching up about life and came onto the topic of job hunting and what we have been applying for. Both of us said to each other that since summer we’ve applied to 40-60 jobs each. EACH! And probably heard back from about 4-6 of them. We both looked at eachother, tired and understandingly in a way that we knew how heartbreaking it was to hear that silence. It’s a rejection of some sort, but not like a breakup or personal rejection, it’s more of a deeper mind f*ck one, because you generally have no idea what you’ve done wrong/dont have for them not to want you. It’s all guessing games of whether your website is strong enough or whether you’ve got the right skill set that they want, or whether you have enough experience- and that’s the one I hate thinking about. That stupid experience.
Having university through covid meant that my course, as well as probably thousands of other courses didn’t get everything out of them that we were supposed to. With a practical heavy course, comes lots of doing things. In my course I was supposed to use the studio every week, and I was supposed to get work experience, and I was supposed to go to lots of exhibition opening nights and network etc. But we all know what happened from 2020-2022. I almost envy the students going in now, as they’re probably going to get everything I didn’t get, and come along out of university with lots more experience and take a job I applied for. Envy is a horrible feeling, it leaves your mind feeling many emotions and thinking many things. I’ve always tried to bat away those feelings as i’ve always wanted to be a good person (whether i am or not who knows) but I’ve come to accept that those feelings are natural and to accept them, and let them pass.
Anyway, this university friend and myself were talking about how strange it felt coming out of university. We both went straight from A levels to uni, which meant to gap year, no rest, straight on to education- which is a very normal thing to do. Now, we hit the end of education, the end of the 18 year long road and we find ourselves lost. We had expectations for what the end of the path would look like and it feels we took a wrong turn somewhere but this is it. Nothing at university prepared us for coming out of it. There were no talks, no whisper of a word. no advice, no “hey go check out this website for what to do” or “listen to this podcast as it tells you…”, there was nothing. Coming out of structure and routine to no job and time disorientation gave us a sense of dread and fear. We knew what it was to be an adult and the expectations, but somehow still I didn’t feel prepared- nor do I still do to some extent. I feel for those deeply who may be going through a very similar feelings to myself but have bills to pay, and rent thats due, or someone to look after or the thought of whether they could buy food or if they can afford heating come this winter season.
I spoke a bit to family about what I was feeling, I was ‘in a funk’ as my mum called it. I talked every so often about jobs and money and my future and having my dad give me some advice as well as my own times to reflect I’ve come to a place right now where im feeling slightly better about life as an adult ahah. I’m going to share these with you, whoever is reading, or for anyone who may need it in the future, some of the things I’ve come to accept, think and understand after these few weeks that got me, and could hopefully get you, out of your ‘funk’:
Everything happens for a reason. (now i’m talking small things here, nothing too serious before any words get twisted). I really really do believe this now. Things happen to shape who you are as a person, as well as give you experiences you may not have realised that you needed. When frustrating things happen i believe you’ll 100% come out a different and better person if you accept the fact that they’ve happened. You didn’t get that job because there is a better one out there for you. You didn’t make that train because little did you know on the next one you’re going to bump into an old friend, you’ve lost your house keys but in the process of finding them you came across an old lens cover you lost weeks back. Its for a reason.
Everything comes with time. This thought came to my head when I was still sitting in bed, having not left and it was well into the afternoon. I had been applying for job after job and not hearing back. I was thinking to myself that things should be quicker than this and surely there is something wrong with what I’m doing. I wanted so badly the idea of living in a flat in London having a studio job whilst part time doing my own shoots and work that I was getting myself down about the fact that I wasn’t there yet. Poor Darcy wasn’t thinking about how on earth she’d afford the flat, she just wanted to be there ahah. The next day I got a message from a woman offering me days to work as her studio assistant. This is the first step of many to get to my desire of a flat in London, but I’ve got to remember to not walk to quickly.
Take off as much time as you need. Its ok to not jump straight into work. It’s ok to take time off and just appreciate living for a moment. If we are to work every day for the rest of our lives, why not take the time now when you’ve got it to sit and do nothing- the chances of that happening again are slim, so sit back and curl up and binge watch that true crime series whilst you quite literally have the time.
Say yes and figure it out later. This is what my dad told me when it comes to interviews. He said “If they ask you if you can do ‘X’, just say yes, then go away and figure out how to do it, that way you’ll be learning as well as looking eager”. Got to give it to him, it’s a man of a lot of advice and this one is one that worked for me aha. We’re lucky we have youtube and google to look up and learn as quickly as we need to now.
Get out of your house. Now i’m quite literally a walking advocate, I LOVE a walk, but when I was ‘in my funk’, it made it very difficult for me to want to leave my room, the house, my bed!!! But oh sweetness that fresh air, some sun and moving can do for you. It can quite literally be a walk to your garden to sit and listen to music, a quick walk to the tesco down the road to pick up some squashies, a walk down the stairs to sit on the benches in the courtyard outside your flat, a trip in the car- something to get you out of your ‘comfort space’ and feel again.
The only funk there should be is the one coming from the bass guitar.